I had lunch with two relatives recently . Both had lost their husbands six months earlier. One of the women had expected the death of her husband of almost fifty years, the other had not.
I watched as they dealt in entirely different ways with their losses. None of us who have lost a loved one grieves in the same way, and I don't think the grieving process ever ends.
Another friend lost her spouse almost fifteen years ago. The pain, the emptiness has never gone away. She still thinks about him daily.
And I still dream about my husband almost weekly after 10 years.
So, how do we get over our losses? We don't. And that's okay. We need to remember that if someone has been a part of our lives, we don't just forget. Divorce is as hard as death, I am told. When you lose someone who had been a part of you, even filling that void with someone or something else will not make you entirely complete again. One of my books, written after my husband died addresses in fictional form how I coped with his death.
A Bench on the Beach is available only in e book form and you can get it on Kindle. It deals with this issue of widowhood.